missing philadelphia

i'm from philadelphia.



no where wealthier, no where healthier.



but i'm out here caught in a wave

a wave

of instability

trying to find an excuse.



(to go home)



met a girl from south africa last night,

she took my hand and we went to the beach.



made love by the ocean.



met a girl from australia two nights ago.



we drank our faces off and I don't really remember what happened to her.



I'm sitting by the pier this morning,

feeling nostalgic;

missing philadelphia.



no where wealthier, no where healthier.



I bought a disposable camera and took pictures of the ocean,

mailed it to my sister,

and wrote a postcard to my grandfather.



I ate breakfast with a strong bloody mary

and flirted with my waitress.



I decided to go surfing after work and smoked a joint

with an irish girl who never was on the east coast.



i miss the attiude, the philth.



i miss the authenticity, and the love.



the humidity, and the green grass.



i miss my family and real italian food.



but, i'm caught up in this

whirlwind

of excess and rebellion.



escaping the reality of

responsibility;

pretending to relive my youth.



this quarter-life crisis might be too

prolonged;

missing philadelphia just seems wrong